Back to the s***

What more can I say?
I'm just waiting for the right time to move on...

Listening: nothing
Mood: sad, angry... nearly desperate
Doing: nothing

First day, and my mind elsewhere...

I have written it this morning.
Well, first day of uni. Right now I am on the train... 45 minutes to arrive. First lesson: russian language. What can I say? Sounds weird and interesting, but I have no idea, so I would have prefered to start with another lecture.
It is the time to move properly, to leave home for some time... and like everytime it happens I will feel free, but I will feel lonely too.
This time I have someone here, someone who loves me... but I don't really love him, it is not true love... like it was before.
Yesterday we talked... and the one who was my love said a million different things: "I don't love you but let's be friends" (It is okish for me) "It is really dead, I am 100% sure" (sighhhh, I don't think so, I think he was lying here, but I don't really know) "Noooo, it is not dead, I still feel something for you but I don't really want to be with you" (Is this opposite to the sentence before? I think so) "Listen to me! I don't love you anymore! F*** off!" (wow! but don't lie to me) And then I say: "You are not with me because it is complex right?" "Right" "But if it wasn't so complex would you be with me following your feelings?" "Listen, I need to focus on my studies" o_O (What kind of answer is that??? Is he hiding? Because I really think so) In the end I decided to go away from his life and stop disturbing him forever, so I asked him to hurt me badly because that way I'd stop caring about him as much as I do... he just can't, and it is another thing that tells me that he loves me.
Well, today i am off because of my uni and he is busy too, so let's wait to see what happens.

Listening: to a guys' conversation (one of them looks really good lol)
Mood: confused, so f****** confused and kinda lost
Doing: thinking and writing, well writing...

To my friend

Well, I will write something (silly) about a friend.
We met some months ago, althought it just seems ages for me... we have talked during hours and hours... about many things...
It's strange how you can have someone so far and sometimes feel it so near, like if you would go to your door and he would be there waiting for you to go out and take a coke together... it's different cultures, different times, different countries, different ways of life, but I guess we have something that join us, that makes us talk nearly everyday.
we share feelings, thoughts, moods... he can change my mood easily if he tries, he can make me smile just with one sentence... sounds like love, but it is not, and sometimes I think it is the best of all. that it is just a friendship, so we don't argue over stupid things or cry because of the other like couples do.
I remember that when we met he asked me if our friendship would last just a month... I said I am not that kind of person, I care about people, I don't use to forget people after one month... I think I have proved it, haven't I?
We have been there when the other was happy, when the other was sad... always... and thinking about it I don't know why, I just know it is happenning that way.
I hope we can support the other and make the other smile during the rest of time.
All I have to say to him is thank you for all, I really mean it, I love to be your friend.
Take care my friend, and be happy whatever happens in life.

PS: maybe it is not deep enough for you, but I am writing without planning anything, just how it comes to my mind.

Listening: un siglo sin ti by Chayanne
Mood: smiling
Doing: thinking about life and happiness

Just time

It's all I need... my exams will be over soon. Then I will make a decision. And I will be back in the blog too. Just time... it is all I need

Listening: En que estrella estará by Nena Daconte
Mood: rather sad... with a million decisions to take...
Doing: chatting on msn and letting time go...