First day, and my mind elsewhere...

I have written it this morning.
Well, first day of uni. Right now I am on the train... 45 minutes to arrive. First lesson: russian language. What can I say? Sounds weird and interesting, but I have no idea, so I would have prefered to start with another lecture.
It is the time to move properly, to leave home for some time... and like everytime it happens I will feel free, but I will feel lonely too.
This time I have someone here, someone who loves me... but I don't really love him, it is not true love... like it was before.
Yesterday we talked... and the one who was my love said a million different things: "I don't love you but let's be friends" (It is okish for me) "It is really dead, I am 100% sure" (sighhhh, I don't think so, I think he was lying here, but I don't really know) "Noooo, it is not dead, I still feel something for you but I don't really want to be with you" (Is this opposite to the sentence before? I think so) "Listen to me! I don't love you anymore! F*** off!" (wow! but don't lie to me) And then I say: "You are not with me because it is complex right?" "Right" "But if it wasn't so complex would you be with me following your feelings?" "Listen, I need to focus on my studies" o_O (What kind of answer is that??? Is he hiding? Because I really think so) In the end I decided to go away from his life and stop disturbing him forever, so I asked him to hurt me badly because that way I'd stop caring about him as much as I do... he just can't, and it is another thing that tells me that he loves me.
Well, today i am off because of my uni and he is busy too, so let's wait to see what happens.

Listening: to a guys' conversation (one of them looks really good lol)
Mood: confused, so f****** confused and kinda lost
Doing: thinking and writing, well writing...

One more day... one more post

Well, today I haven't got anythin in mind to write about, but I have been thinking and I decided that I'll post everyday, although it is just a line.
I can think about a million topics I would like to write about, but I havent planned anything, so I don't want to write something really bad and then regret it.
There is a question on my mind. Yesterday I wrote about feelings and how hard it is for some people to show them. But what's up when you show a feeling and then you feel the opposite?
I don't know.
Someone told me his/her feelings a few days before, and not he/she shows another ones, opposite ones... but she/he is not brave enough to say "sorry, I was wrong" or "I changed my mind about it" or just tell me the feelings and I get the meaning by myself. Sometimes it is black and then next minute it is white, but when I ask "is it black or white?" all I get is "ssshhh, don't worry". What? Don't worry? I DO worry: you say something, you show another one, then you get quiet, then you pretend nothing happened... what is all this about? I don't know.
Isn't it better to be honest? things can change and everyone makes mistakes, so wouldn't be easier just to be honest about it all?

Listening: Katy Perry - Hot n Cold
Mood: Calmed and confused
Doing: Trying to study American culture

The beginning

Everything has a beginning and this is the beginning of this blog.
The song I posted before by the Beatles is a meaning of the title of the blog.
I am a 20ish years old girl that doesn't feel like fitting in this world.
I think there is so much to change, so much to improve, so I'll post my thoughts here to see if there is someone sharing them, to see if i can change not the world but at least some thoughts in people.
I don't try to persuade anyone, I just try to express my point of view and discuss it.
Thanks for reading and feel free to comment whatever.

Nowhere Man

He's a real nowhere Man,
Sitting in his Nowhere Land,
Making all his nowhere plans for nobody.
Doesn't kave a point of view,
Knows not where he's going to,
Isn't he a bit like you and me?
Nowhere Man, please listen,
You don't know what you're missing,
Nowhere Man, the world is at your command.
He's as blind as he can be,
Just sees what he wants to see,
Nowhere Man can you see me at all?
Doesn't kave a point of view,
Knows not where he's going to,
Isn't he a bit like you and me?
Nowhere Man, don't worry,
Take your time, don't hurry,
Leave it all till somebody else lend you a hand.
He's a real Nowhere Man,
Sitting in his Nowhere Land,
Making all his nowhere plans for nobody